2. 撰寫使命宣言

????“你的孩子能說得出自己的父母最看重的價(jià)值嗎？”當(dāng)被問及這個(gè)問題的時(shí)候，費(fèi)勒意識(shí)到，“我希望他們知道。不過實(shí)際上，我從來沒有告訴過他們?！迸c此同時(shí)，他妻子工作的非盈利組織正處于撰寫使命宣言的階段，“她回到家里的時(shí)候幾乎流著淚，因?yàn)檫@對(duì)她來說意義重大。”

????因此費(fèi)勒和妻子以及雙胞胎女兒“舉行了類似于企業(yè)拓展的家庭活動(dòng)。我們舉辦了睡衣派對(duì)，大家擠在爸爸媽媽的床上進(jìn)行了這樣的談話：對(duì)我們來說，什么才是最重要的？”

????第一次聽到撰寫家庭使命宣言的想法時(shí)，“我認(rèn)為這想法很掃興，是老生常談，毫無幽默感?！钡亲詈笞珜懙穆暶靼ㄏ旅娴倪@些想法，比如“我們熱愛學(xué)習(xí)”和“允許犯錯(cuò)誤”，讓費(fèi)勒一家很好地了解到他們堅(jiān)持的價(jià)值觀。費(fèi)勒說：“現(xiàn)在的情況是，如果想變成理想的自己，首先得搞明白想成為什么樣的人。而且研究也支持這一點(diǎn)”這份家庭使命宣言就揭示了他們家最理想的狀態(tài)。

3. 樹立遠(yuǎn)大的目標(biāo)

????不需要對(duì)子女或配偶（這樣做更危險(xiǎn)）進(jìn)行正式的績(jī)效考核，也不需要讓他們對(duì)你進(jìn)行正式的考核。但是要在家庭生活中確立目標(biāo)意識(shí)，比如隨著時(shí)間流逝，大家變得越來越親密，也可以把人們?cè)谏虡I(yè)世界的關(guān)注點(diǎn)引入到家庭生活?！八悬c(diǎn)像我的保險(xiǎn)杠貼紙，”費(fèi)勒說?！拔覀冇凶约旱墓ぷ?，我們?cè)诠ぷ魃贤度刖?。我們有自己的愛好，我們?cè)趷酆蒙贤度刖?。我們有自己的身體，我們花功夫鍛煉自己的身體。我們有自己的家庭，但我們幾乎沒有花時(shí)間關(guān)心家庭。這就是現(xiàn)實(shí)情況。”但是如果做出一點(diǎn)努力，“動(dòng)點(diǎn)心思，把家庭看做組織或團(tuán)隊(duì)來思考問題，情況就會(huì)改觀，”他說。“小舉措也能產(chǎn)生大影響?！保ㄘ?cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

????譯者：孟潔冰

2. Write a mission statement

????When asked the question "Can your kids say what values are most important to their parents?" Feiler realized that "I'd like to think they could. But the truth is I've never told them." Meanwhile, the nonprofit where his wife worked was going through a mission statement writing process, and "she would come home almost in tears, it was very meaningful to her."

????So Feiler, his wife, and twin girls "did the family equivalent of a corporate retreat. We held a pajama party and piled into mom and dad's bed and had this conversation: What is most important to us?"

????When he first heard of the idea of writing a family mission statement, "I thought it was cold, it was corny, it was humorless." But the resulting statement, incorporating such ideas as "We love to learn" and "We know it's okay to make mistakes," gave the Feiler family a good idea of what they stood for. "Here's the thing, and research backs this up -- you need to identify your best possible self if you want to achieve it," says Feiler. The mission statement revealed their best possible family.

3. Aim to get better

????No, you don't need to do an official performance review for your children or -- more perilously -- your spouse, and you don't need to sit through an official review they give you. But approaching family life with goals in mind, like becoming closer year after year, can transfer some of the same focus people bring to business life to home life. "This is kind of my bumper sticker," says Feiler. "We have our jobs, we work on those. We have our hobbies we work on those. We have our bodies, we work on those. We have our families -- and we spend almost no time working on them. They just are." But if you put in a little bit of effort, "and apply smart ideas for thinking about a family like a group, like a team, you can make it better," he says. "A little bit goes a long way."