????“你應(yīng)該付錢給我?！苯?jīng)過(guò)這樣的交流，以后再蜻蜓點(diǎn)水地繼續(xù)提供建議，這樣就可以傳達(dá)出一個(gè)信息：偶爾麻煩你解決問(wèn)題和經(jīng)常讓你從事原本應(yīng)該得到報(bào)酬的真正或有意義的工作，兩者之間是有區(qū)別的。

????最后，推薦其他可能對(duì)你朋友的事業(yè)有所幫助的人。這表明你并不想借此牟取暴利——你真誠(chéng)地關(guān)心好友的核心利益。也許只是因?yàn)殡p方正式的合作會(huì)覺得太尷尬，或者讓人感到不舒服，也許你單純只是因?yàn)闆]有時(shí)間或者能力解決問(wèn)題，跟錢沒有關(guān)系，又也許你并不是做這份工作的最好人選。無(wú)論是哪種情況，你都可能認(rèn)識(shí)某個(gè)能夠幫上忙的人。

????你要努力不貶低自己的時(shí)間價(jià)值。盡管你很高興在適當(dāng)?shù)臅r(shí)候做出貢獻(xiàn)和分享建議，但是你并不愿意白白被別人利用。你有足夠的自尊和信心，合理地珍惜你的時(shí)間和精力，在你力所能及的時(shí)候提供幫助。但是不要覺得自己被迫年復(fù)一年地為艾德娜阿姨報(bào)稅，為約翰尼寫大學(xué)論文，或者免費(fèi)提供法律意見。

????喬迪?格利克曼，溝通培訓(xùn)和領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力開發(fā)公司 Great on the Job的創(chuàng)始人。她著有《職場(chǎng)秘訣：提高工作績(jī)效的溝通技巧》（Great on the Job: What to Say, How to Say It, The Secrets of Getting Ahead；圣馬丁出版社，2011年5月）。

????譯者：凌云

????Offering over-the-shoulder advice after the more formal "you-should-pay-me" route communicates that there's a difference between pinging you occasionally with questions and taxing you regularly with real or meaningful work that you should be compensated for.

????Lastly, go ahead and recommend others who might help your friend's cause. This demonstrates that you're not trying to profiteer here -- you genuinely have your buddy's best interest at heart. Perhaps working together formally is just too awkward or uncomfortable, perhaps you don't have the time or capacity no matter the financial arrangement, or perhaps you're really not the best person for the job. Whatever the case, you probably know someone who can help.

????You owe it to yourself to not undermine the value of your time. While you're happy to give and share advice when appropriate, you're not in the business of being taken for a ride. Have enough self-respect and confidence to value your time and energy appropriately and help out when you can. But don't feel forced to do Aunt Edna's taxes year after year, write Johnny college essays, or give legal advice for free.

????Jodi Glickman is the founder of communication training and leadership development firm Great on the Job. She is the author of Great on the Job: What to Say, How to Say It, The Secrets of Getting Ahead (St. Martin's Press, May 2011).